Fertility Blues

DH And I are still trying for our baby.. I guess we are now 20 months trying...?

Argh it is so frustrating, we have tried two months of Clomid so far and have had an ok response to it but it is heart breaking that its just not working (yet).

I really hope that it will come together for us, I have another 2 or 3 cycles of Clomid to go before "the next step" whatever the fertility specialist decides that will be for us.

I have managed to get my head around IVF at least, the idea doesn't bring me to a crumbling heap of nerves, fear and panic.

Although I haven't managed to get over the increased risk of multiples with fertility treatments! Twins! Ahh! Hmm! Err! I'm not so sure I could cope, especially being a primary parent as DH works and works away a lot and we live abroad and away from a family support network!

Unfortunately though by having long cycles it means that everything takes soooo loooong. I feel like I am forever waiting for the fertile period and then forever waiting for when to test for that BFP.

Life is certainly testing me and testing my patience with living abroad and having fertility issues ;-)

Thank god for mumsnet and other online forums where you can chat to other ladies and hear their advice and what they are going through. Fertility problems is such a private thing that in "real life" its just not discussed amongst friends.

Anyway, almost entering the fertile period now... I guess I better go busy myself and my husband *wink wink*

New: Year, Country, Beginnings, Friends...

WOW! Its been almost six months since my last post, I can't believe where the time flies!

We have moved to a new country, DH has a new job, I'm learning a new language, making new friends, and trying to figure out what the heck is going on!

Unfortunately on the down side PCOS is still a b*tch but we struggle on and Soy Isoflavones have become my hero as far as shortening cycles and bringing forward/guaranteeing OV. 

The main lessons I have learned in the last 6 months is the patience of living out of a suitcase!

The lessons or things I wish to pass on to you...

• When you move country, use the first three months to put yourself out there - force yourself to meet new people, join that class, get out of your comfort zone and try out some local foods/language
• You can always do more in a day than you think. Give yourself a list of goals, not too long that you lose motivation, but push hard enough and you can always get that extra item ticked off that list!
• Never fight or lose patience with your in-laws. Its not worth it. Bite your tongue... you can do it. Just. a. few. more. weeks. living. all. together. Help. me!
• Don't let your husband walk over you. Speak up. You have a voice, it should always be heard. Your opinion matters. Don't put yourself to the bottom of the pile and don't take shit. 

Have a good month gorgeous readers...

I'll be back in 30 days (promise)

Dealing with long cycles and conception problems – the natural way

Day 49 and no AF in sight

Rightly or wrongly, I have decided to give two months to dealing with my PCOS and irregular periods the natural way, before resorting to Chlomid, Femara or Metformin.

My self-devised treatment plan constitutes of the following:

Two months – 13^th August until 15^th October 2014

Daily sunlight for 20mins – I have my morning coffee sitting in my bikini in the morning sunlight. Theory: stimulate natural Vitamin D production.

Cutting down on coffee to 1 cup a day – its been proven that excess coffee intake hinders fertility.

Drinking 1 cup of Green Tea a day – this may seem to contradict the above as Green Tea does have caffeine, however Green Tea is claimed to help increase fertile CM and through my own trials this has helped me too.

Cutting down on hard-core exercise. I usually exercise and exert myself to 100% for one hour, five times a week. I have decided to reduce this to max 30mins of cardio, four times a week and try to reduce the intensity. Theory: over-doing it on the exercise has shown to lengthen cycles. (I already have 45+ day cycles!)

No Carbs at Night – Previously I tried this for weight loss (I am slim, BMI 20 but stubborn patches of cellulite/fat) and had good results. Theory: PCOS is linked with insulin resistance and difficulty processing carbs/sugar. Also to balance out my lower levels of exercise! IMO the ‘night’ rule has no impact on cutting carbs, but I find it easier to have a personal curfew for carbs rather than just ‘cut down’

Acupuncture – I have always been intrigued with acupuncture. I took the plunge and went for it and minus a mini freak-out it was fine! I am now going for twice weekly acupuncture in the hope that it will help to stimulate my ovaries and regulate my hormones.

Chinese herbs – I am not so sure about this one, but my traditional acupuncturist Dr Zhang at Tong Ren Tang has prescribed me a course of Chinese herbs to help in balancing my Qi and for warming up my apparently ‘cold ovaries’.

Meditation – I am going to try to do 20-30 minutes of quiet time/meditation a day. Theory: a lot of fertility problems are linked to stress, plus the fact that TTC is an emotional rollercoaster and serious test of patience. I hope that by stilling the mind I can minimize my body’s production of cortisol and adrenalin.

Limiting alcohol intake – not only because of excess calories or potential pregnancy but also that alcohol affects estrogen production & I don’t want anything affecting my body’s hormone production.

So, the bottom line is this, I have been suffering with greasy hair and skin, long cycles, short light spotting of an excuse of a period, skin rashes and a sticky patch in my hair that appeared for a week (!!!) I don’t know whether I ovulate each month but 8 months and 6 cycles of TTC later I’m now willing to try anything!

 Wish me luck! xxx

Trials & Tribulations of a Pilots Wife: Making Mini-me's

Well, Dearest Husband and I have been Trying To Conceive (#TTC for those in the know) our first baby for the past 8 months. Eight Months! This is so not as easy as you think are told during your teens/early twenties and living in the constant fear of birth control failure!

Well, 8 months off Birth Control (#BC for those in the know) and nothing. No Big Fat Positive (#BFP) pregnancy test, just a hell of a lot of let down BFN's.

Thinking about BABIES!

Anyway, I'm sure I can blame this on being a Pilots Wife and living the Pilots Life. Hubby is away 5 or 6
days of the week and women only ovulate once a month. Did you know that the egg only lives for 24 hours!?! Well with sperm living for 4 days or do that gives maybe 4 fertile days a month.

Statistics & facts are definitely not in our favour. Anyway, back to crazy baby-making brain with other OTT women slowly driving themselves insane playing the waiting game and trying to jump their husbands as much as possible. My stats below for those in the know:

30YO, TTC#1, Off BC since Jan, CD35, 14DPO, DTD @ OV, POAS today: BFN, AF due today. Temping, charting & on CM watch.

Besides simply getting busy and down to action if anyone has some miracle baby making advise please let me know.

Signed,
Loopy-Despondent-HopefullyPregnantSoon-Mom2Be

Expat Challenges: Don't get too attached to your friends

Its been a while since my last post, I have been kept busy lately as I've had a week of final goodbyes to my dearest friend here.

Living the life of an expat in a truly foreign country leads you to cling to the other expat friends you make... well unfortunately these people are drifting through life like you and not laying down roots so you get used to saying goodbye all too many times.

Ahhh, well. This is the life we are leading and "regular" life must go on despite losing an essential pillar to your "regular" life abroad. My friend John who just left was here from the start, my drinking buddy, my 'enabler' I always called him - bringing out the party girl in me, my confidant and little bit of normality in an otherwise surreal life. John would keep me happy and sane in the long weeks my husband is away and I am otherwise alone. The ring-leader of the gossip train within my husband's company and the glue which held our expat communities together: breaking up "the French group" or "the Spanish group" to create just a group of expats who hung out and a family away from family.

But, having such a good friend leave can't only be bad, here are the positives that I can draw from the situation, feel free to add any more:

• You can re-invent yourself: you aren't held back by people's established ideas of your personality
• It gets you out of your comfort zone: make the effort to meet new people and keep busy and you will be rewarded
• You're left re-evaluating your own situation and plans, this isn't good to dwell on and second guess yourself too much, but can stop you drifting along in your current job/situation for longer than you should.

Anyway, I'm off to join a new Yoga class in the hope of meeting some new non-drinking mates. 

Namaste 

Moving Forward - onwards and upwards

Time to pick yourself off the floor, out the gutter, get back in the driving seat. Moping time over!

I think that in life you are one of two characters when it comes to dealing with problems, either the type to: 1) Bury your head in the sand or, 2) Move on.

Dear Husband is quite happy watching TV, swimming, eating, relaxing, reading or playing games to avoid dealing with the issue/problem/failure. 

Us avoiding dealing with the issue

I, on the other hand simply cannot just “be”. I need to deal with the problem whether “dealing” is going to help move forward or not, I need to feel in control and proactively taking steps to remedy the issue in order to feel ok with the set-back. 

Recently DH was not selected for a job we really had our hearts set on. The country, the company, our new life was all a perfect fit and perfectly planned out. All that came crashing down with the rejection email that he unfortunately wasn’t successful in the interview. Cue heartache, disappointment, sadness, helplessness, feeling that life is unfair, frustration… arggghhh. But, life goes on. Ce la vie. 

Personally, in order to feel back in control of our destiny, I want to fire off some emails, apply for the next position, study and rehearse for the next interview, and move forward. DH wants to mourn the loss of this job and mope. But he doesn’t even want to mope which would almost be acceptable… he just wants to exist. Its so frustrating. How can you possibly relax just being left behind as life goes on?!?

I think I need my own focus which I am in control of. If I fail I can pick myself up and move on. What’s happened in this situation is DH has failed which affects me, but I’m not the one in control here, he is, so I can’t pick us up and move on, thats up to him. My destiny is in his lazy hands. 

Alas, being a pilot’s wife means it’s very difficult to have my own focus (ALL/ANY suggestions welcome) because anything I do has to be totally portable to pack up and move along to our next country. So personally I am at a loss of what to do. Need a hobby job. A “jhobby”. I have a job which my heart just isn’t in. I need a passion!

I'm currently trawling these great websites for inspiration, check out these sites if you have time, very motivating:

careerinyoursuitcase.com

Babes, Blogs & Business

Risk VS Returns: Dare to Dream!

You gotta have a dream!

So my lovely Pilot husband is preparing for an interview. I’m not going to lie its not easy… he is dreadful at tests, pressure, studying, (he’s convinced he’s dyslexic), and overall is a total dreamer so battles to concentrate on actually getting the job done in terms of preparation as in his mind he’s already decided where we’re going to live, what car we’re going to drive and where we are going to shop. 

So my dilemma is constantly one of pushing, nudging, guiding, moulding. 

Helping by being a study buddy, doing call-outs for PF/PM, practising emergency procedures, doing limitations tests...

Helping by shopping, cooking, washing up, laundry, banking, admin, organising, emailing, booking sim practise slots, booking flights, hotels…

Helping by taking shit. I swear I am the stress punching bag. The iPad doesn’t work… shout at the wife. The internet doesn’t connect… shout at the wife. He can’t remember his air systems flashcards he just studied… shout at the wife. His notes are misplaced… shout at the wife. 

Is it all worth it for the dream of the next job. Do you DARE TO DREAM. What if it doesnt come thru. What if he doesn’t get the job offer. 

If you’ve ever read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne you will know that you should never think like that. Quash the “What-if’s”.  Amazon "The Secret" Book

I can’t wait for the interview. I can’t wait for the phone call of the interview run-through by my husband with a blow-by-blow account of what happened, what he nailed, what they asked. I can’t wait for the email confirming his job. I can’t wait to celebrate and feel the YESSSSSSSSSS. F**k yeah! YESSS!!

The return will be so worth it. Just take the risk and believe. 

WebRep

currentVote

noRating

noWeight

Dealing with the "Four Day Schedule"

So my husband is away for four days. This means I am alone for four days. Literally not a soul to speak to.

Here are my top ten activities to keep busy while he is away to avoid going insane:

1) Catch up on all emails, whatsapps, texts, face books, tweets etc. Write to friends or family you haven't heard from in a while and make sure you keep in touch.  Follow me on twitter @imupforlife

2) Go to the GYM! We've covered this already: gym = positive body, positive mind, positive attitude. Check out Pop Sugar Fitness Website or Pop Sugar Fitness YouTube Channel which are both amazing for motivation & have ten minute workouts you can do from Yoga, Treadmill, Weights, Cardio......

3) Go for a walk. Not related to "exercising" but simply related to clearing your mind, having some peace and embracing the alone-time

4) Put down your cellphone. Stop playing Bubble Witch/Candy Crush/Tetris or whatever your poison is. You're wasting your life and getting a headache

5) Cook. Google a recipe you're craving, go grocery shopping and cook up a storm. Cake? Pancake? Curry? Gnocchi? Find something on Pintrest and give it a go!

6) Sort out your computer. This sounds super duper dull but don't you have a load of crap on your laptop? I do. 5 photos of the same thing really aren't needed. De-clutter and organise your life starting with your tech.

7) Sort out your junk drawer. Again this sounds dull but this time its not the act that counts its the feeling it gives you. This is a tip from a book I read which deals with depression. The act of sorting out a stationery/junk/kitchen drawer, as small an act as it is empowers you to sort out the rest of your life. I dare you to try this 'crazy' idea. Worst that happens: you get an organised junk drawer

8) Do the laundry. Boooooringgggg, but it will keep you busy. And if all the washing & ironing is done before hubby comes back it means more Quality Time together coz the administration of life is done.

9) Change the bedsheets. Mmmmm... nothing like crisp fresh linen. This one is for you and your soul. Relish and enjoy laying in fresh bedsheets before the wild animal husband comes back and sweats/crinkles/'dirty's your blissful bed.

10) Lastly, to keep yourself busy, feel good and get ready for hubby's return; Shower, Shave, Pluck, Paint nails, Blowdry, Exfoliate, Tone skin, Fake tan, Moisturize, Whiten, Floss... you get the picture. Get yourself totally beautified. Not just for him, for you to feel good and worthwhile.

WebRep

currentVote

noRating

noWeight

Gym Time: Expats abroad, nothing to do, GO TO GYM!

Living abroad with not many, hardly any, very few friends can leave you little to do on a weekend while Hubby is away at work.

So, what to do... go to gym! 

The simple benefits of gym (in case you need reminding, we ALL need reminding) include:

• its uplifting / mood booster
• healthy
• keeps you occupied both mind & body
• its natural to keep active and I know in my usual sedentary lifestyle if I didn't go to gym I would be considered horrendously inactive.

I go to gym about 4 or 5 times a week usually. Having quit smoking this year I can now achieve this:

One Hour as Far / Fast as you can

CHALLENGE: If you don't feel like working out; just go to the gym. 

Once you arrive you can turn around and leave if you wish. Just Go There. 

(You'll probably stay...)

For my my latest motivation is the Runkeeper app on my phone. Previously I had it on my Android and now on my iPhone. You can set it to auto track steps it is AWESOME. Runkeeper 

My personal challenge for April is to run/walk/cover 100km. Like I said I have a very small/sedentary life so this is a real challenge. 

Off to the gym then! xxx

WebRep

currentVote

noRating

noWeight

Positives & Negatives of Life Abroad

Hello fellow Blog Lurkers,

I've been a "trailing spouse" for the past two years and our first adventures have brought us to South East Asia (SEA). I say "trailing spouse" in inverted commas because that makes it sound like I've been pulled along unwillingly, which is not true. I have my own career in South East Asia and am just as much up for the challenge of moving abroad as my husband (possibly more so!).

Having grown up in two different countries I am quite used to different cultures and customs and enjoy having a mixed "Identity".

Positives of having lived an extended time away from "home":

• Full, enriched life
• Open minded
• Understand different cultures
• Learn whats truly valuable and important in life
• Reinvent yourself

Negatives of living the expat life:

• How on earth do you answer the question "where do you come from?" Uuuuhh, I've lived equally across two countries and now live in SEA. I don't know "where I come from". My loyalties lie with two, not one place. 
• Putting up with embarrassing people from your "home country" ahh.... you don't want the locals generalising that all people from England are like that... etc. 
• Losing the ability to chat to old friends at home about current events: "Jordan who? Idols who? Radio host who? Which Restaurant?"   ---   Life at home moves on... without you!
• Loneliness. Its not easy to make friends. Its definitely not easy to make friends. 
• Pretending to love the food - yellow food anyone? 

Personally I LOVE living  "abroad" with no intentions to go home anytime soon. We may be contemplating our next move but its certainly not "home"... 

Inspiration from: HSBC Expat Explorer Blogs 

WebRep

currentVote

noRating

noWeight